when it’s all darkness outside

so i had planned on posting sometime earlier this week… 2 days of internet being out at the house was probably a good thing. there have been so many tragic things going on in our country and around the world, i was overwhelmed by news being on everywhere i went. i talked to my sister a bit about that, the sense of shame for not being able to watch or listen to everything. but i can only do what i can do. and i can’t get overwhelmed by sorrow for all these things i can’t change.

i made barbecue, had picnic lunches with zoë, read a LOT, and tried to distance myself from the round the clock coverage of nothing but tragedies. from kermit gosnell, to west, tx, to the boston marathon and all that followed, this was a hard week.

i’ve been reading, albeit slowly, ann voskamp’s book one thousand gifts, and i’ve been finding a lot of comfort in her blog a holy experience. because for me, when it’s all darkness outside, i need a reminder of who the Light is. i don’t live as connected to that source as i ought to. it’s easy to get distracted by soccer games and making lunches, and working on tens and ones places, and all the things that make up my life now, that i completely forget the point of my life:

i am the vine, you are the branches. if you remain in me, and i in you, you will bear much fruit… as the father has loved me, so i have loved you. now remain in my love.

yeah. about that. so today, while we go for a hike on a small part of the appalachian trail, i’m going to pay closer attention to the wisteria, the poison ivy, the honeysuckle. because these vines and branches bear fruit – good and ill alike. i want my vine to be one that has me bearing good fruit – sweet flowers of joy, and not the poison of fear and shame. that my source will have me glowing, and not cowering in the darkness.

i’ll post pictures soon… we’ve been doing all sorts of fun things, and i’ve been trying to document them as we go.


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