so, this is post #150. and it’s been a while since i posted just a text post.

zoe is amazing. i’m re-learning this everyday. she’s starting to feed herself little puffed cereal pieces (made for new learners), starting to pull herself up on everything (who knew that a wall was a good surface to pull up on?), cruise around the furniture (with a few spills and crying sessions here and there) and my favorite, jump in bed. while holding onto the bars, of course.

she does yell at me from time to time, mostly while i’m changing her diaper and getting her dressed. this usually occurs at either breakfast time, or bedtime. because she’s either hungry or tired. and honestly, you can’t beat that… if the child only complains when she’s tired or hungry for the rest of her life, at least i’ll have some small inkling of what to do. of course that’s a pipedream, but we can hope and pray.

she’s a laughing child. the whole world brings her joy. and when she’s tired, everything seems so much more funny to her. she wants to be near us when we sit on the couch. she’ll crawl over to us, and wedge herself between our feet. she’ll sit up, look at us, play with a toy, look at us again, and go back to playing. she’s just making sure we’re there, and we’re paying attention.

oh, that’s the other thing. she’s an attention hound. it’s adorable. i think because she is learning so many new and strange things, she wants our eyes on her, to make sure we’re watching… i can only imagine the fashion shows and imaginary things she will put on productions about for us.

i am trying very hard to let her figure things out on her own, and not help her too much. like the self feeding issue… she makes a horrendous mess, gets half the puffs on her shirt, and the other half is either soggy and stuck in her hand, on her face, on her bib, on the floor… with a few in her mouth. while it would be easier for me to just put them in her mouth, it wouldn’t teach her a thing. she is now trying to grab the spoon when i feed her. i do let her hold on while i put the food in her mouth, but i’m not letting her have complete autonomy in that area of her eating.

we’ve upgraded to a convertible car seat, as she was too big for her infant seat, and too small for the toddler one. it’s bittersweet to me. she’s still small, and yet, she’s growing up so quickly.

she’s moved out of all her 6-9 month clothing, and is firmly ensconced in her 12-18 month clothing. that is so remarkable to me. she’s a chunk, there’s no doubt. but she fits in my arms so much larger than i imagined she would. but it seems right.

i know that we’re not in a place to have another child. and i’m not in the shape i want to be to have another one. but she is so dear, so sweet, that any apprehensions i had about having more have melted. like my heart with her.

she gives open mouth kisses on your face, not when you ask, but when she decides. and if she wants to hug you, she’ll put her hands on your cheeks, and rest her forehead on yours. i know that you might think i’m assigning more value to these actions than is necessary… it’s such a habit of hers, i have to believe it really has some meaning to her. she does say momma, and poppa. but i don’t know that she understands the meaning of those words. she certainly says them a lot. and she’s a talker. she runs her mouth to me all the time. when she’s playing or exploring, she’s fairly quiet. but if i go to pick her up, the faucet turns on, and she begins explaining to me what she was doing. at least, that’s my estimation of what’s going on.

all in all, she’s 8 months old. and a joy to everyone she meets. she’s a smiley girl, even with strangers, but they better not try to pick her up. if she doesn’t get a nap, she gets a little cranky, but nothing serious. she’s got 5 teeth, and a 6th that is just waiting to come down. she looks so much like her poppa it’s ridiculous.

and she’s my beans. my joy.

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